I'm telling you, I heard a goose honk.
Well, I can't hear a thing.
Let's break out the spy gear.
"These contain the same audio surveillance technology
used by the CIA!"
Cool! Where'd you get them?
Burger barn.
[Loud noises]
Oh, my gosh!
What a horrible noise!
Something bad is going on in there!
We got to get mom!
Mom, get out here! It's an emergency!
What?! What?! Drop and roll. Duck and cover. What is it?
Something in that room is making terrifying, evil sounds.
I think they're torturing an animal!
[Playing bagpipes]
It's an honest mistake.
Spy gear.
[Door closes]
What are you staring at?
You're the one wearing a dress.
♪ Here I am in your life ♪
♪ here you are in mine ♪
♪ yes, we have a suite life ♪
♪ most of the time ♪
♪ you and me, we got the world to see ♪
♪ so come on down ♪
♪ just me and you know what to do ♪
♪ so come on down ♪
♪ it's you and me and me and you ♪
♪ we got the whole place to ourselves ♪
♪ you and me, we got a room for free ♪
♪ so come on down ♪
♪ this is the suite life ♪
♪ we've got the suite life ♪
Maddie.
My little ivanie here's got a huge problem.
Her owner?
Daddy invited me to Bermuda for yacht fest,
and I just found out I can't take her.
They quarantine dogs there.
It's like doggie prison.
Oh, I've seen those movies. Hunh!
LIKE WHAT, CHIHUAHUAS IN CHAINS?
[Arf]
[Grrr]
She's kidding.
Anyway, you have to take care of ivana while I'm gone.
No way. Ha ha.
Please? She really likes you.
[Grrr]
Pretend you like her or you're sharing a cell
with a one-eyed doberman.
[Whimpering]
Ok, I'll take her.
Super. I wrote down her daily schedule.
"Breakfast at Maison robaire?"
They know how she likes her eggs florentine.
Then she's getting her teeth
whitened at 12:00.
Then she goes to "doggy and me,"
which, in this case, is you.
Oh, and if she needs to reach me,
she's got me on speed dial on her cell.
She has a cell phone?
OF COURSE.
Oh, but don't let her call the horoscope hotline.
She'll talk to miss Phyllis all night.
She has problems.
She ain't the only one, sister.
[Sighs]
All right. Mommy's got to go now.
You be good.
Ah, woogie-woogie- woogie-woogie.
Mm-wah!
Oh.
You do know you're a dog, don't you?
[Grrr-rrr]
At least someone does.
I don't want you listening to other people's walls.
It's rude, it's tacky, and I'm pretty sure it's illegal.
Carey, please join us in the lounge
for a staff meeting soon as you're through
parenting America's least wanted.
Why? What's going on?
Zzzz-ppppp-zzzzt- zhht! Shh!
It's a tip-top tipton secret.
No one must know the subject of our meeting.
Well, don't worry, Mr. moseby.
We won't say a word.
Hmm. That's because
you won't hear a word.
But we want to help.
Good. Go outside and stand guard.
Gotcha!
Gotcha.
Hey, he was trying to get rid of us, wasn't he?
No, he really wants 2 4-foot kids guarding his hotel.
Boy, I'd love to know what's going on in there.
Yeah. How we gonna get in there?
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Who took a bite out of the coffee cake?
[Chewing] I don't know.
The food is for the staff meeting.
I'm part of the staff.
So am I.
You don't see me eating all the food, do you?
I recommend the Danish.
They're mmm! Hmm. Mmm.
Don't mind if I do.
[Mumbling gibberish] [Mumbling gibberish]
All right. Let's begin.
I need your full and undivided attention.
Now, what I am about to say
must be held in the strictest confidence.
You may or may not know this, but--
is it about the jewel thieves?
Ok, you know this.
But what you don't know is--
the police have no leads?
Ok, you know that, too.
Would you like to run this meeting?
No. I'd have to stand.
The police feel that the thieves might return.
To date, they have pilfered...
I bet if we had our spy gear, we'd be able to catch them.
Shh!
If you see or hear anything suspicious,
notify me immediately.
Sir? The service cart is shushing.
Not now, Esteban.
Hey, what are doing?
We're eavesdropping...
But we're not supposed to...
So don't tell.
Your secret is safe with me.
Esteban, who are you talking to?
Oh, no one.
There is no here except for me
and an empty cart.
Except for some very shiny grapes
and a half-eaten Danish.
Thank you, people. Return to your work.
Well, I'm going back to my break.
Unless this meeting was part of my break,
in which case,
I'm calling the union.
So, did you recognize anyone?
The bellhop who was talking to the fruit.
He was the last one in my room before my jewels disappeared.
Well, one of the first rules of police work,
never trust anyone that talks to food.
Lousy food talkers.
If I must say,
Esteban is a fine and trusted employee.
Are you sure it wasn't the red-headed maid?
Positive.
Hmm.
This is terrible.
They think it's Esteban.
It can't be Esteban.
He's the nicest guy in the world.
Well, he's always had our back,
so now we have his.
We got to find the real thief and clear Esteban.
Then we'll need some more spy gear.
Good, 'cause I could use a burger.
You know, that could be him.
Yeah, but check out the girl with the black scarf.
She looks suspicious.
Don't let her see you.
Use your surveillance gear.
Why did you cut a mouth hole in your newspaper?
So I could finish my fries.
Hi, Zack. Hi, Cody.
Great. Now our cover's blown.
How'd you know it was us?
The dog told me.
And now, if you'll excuse me,
ivana has floor seats for the celtics game.
I just hope they don't mistake her for a pom-pom.
Ok. Back to the case.
Oh!
Check out this picture
I downloaded off the FBI website.
It's a known jewel thief.
IT LOOKS JUST LIKE THAT GUY!
You can't tell anything from this picture.
It's all blurry.
Looks like mom in the morning.
The printer was running out of ink.
Ok, fine. It's the only lead we got.
Let's surveil him.
[Suspenseful music plays]
Yo, it's me. Good news.
Yeah, I spotted the diamonds.
I can't believe I missed them. They're huge.
It's the thief.
Are you sure?
Listen.
Yeah, the diamonds are right next to the rubies.
I got to snag 'em before it's too late. I'll catch you later.
We got to stop him.
But how? We're 12.
And last week you got beat up by a girl.
I could've taken her.
Except I had too many fish sticks for lunch
and it slowed me down.
Let's get Esteban. He'll help us.
And it'll clear his name.
Esteban!
We've got good news and bad news.
What is the bad news?
The police think you're the jewel thief.
A DIOS MIO.
But I never stole anything in my life.
The good news is we know you're innocent.
Oh, thank you, little blond peoples.
You are true and loyal friends.
And we found the real crook.
See this picture?
Is that your mother?
No, it's the crook.
We heard him talking about getting rubies and diamonds.
Come on.
I will bring this man to justice
and clear my name.
No one calls Esteban julio Ricardo Montoya del rosa Ramirez a thief.
No one's got the time.
He's trying to escape!
[HORA PLAYING]
Oh, no.
Oh, no, no, no!
No, no! Yes! Aah ha!
He's stealing that fur coat!
Let's get him!
Stop, thief!
Aah!
I've got you now.
Oh! Oh, oh.
You are so busted!
For what?
For taking that woman's coat.
Yeah, to the coat room.
But we heard him talking about getting the diamonds.
The huge diamonds!
Yeah, Saul and Esther diamond.
Oh, they are huge.
Esteban, what are you thinking?!
I am thinking I should take my knee off this man's esophagus.
But he said the diamonds
were right next to the rubies.
That's us, the rubys.
It's my son David's bar mitzvah.
Which he was kind enough to invite me to.
50% off the chop liver sculpture of your son.
Oh, Mr. moseby, sir,
please forgive my social booboo,
but I knew that I was under suspicion.
How did you find that out?
The boys.
And what made you think this man was a crook?
The boys.
And who are we never going to listen to again?
Both: THE BOYS?
You guys are in such big trouble
that I'm grounding myself for having you.
But we apologized to everyone at the bar mitzvah.
And they were ok with it.
They made us this nice plate of food.
Although I could've done without the fish head.
Oh, you think the fish head is bad,
wait till you hear your punishment.
So you mean we're grounded?
Grounded?
You mean, like in the suite
with tv, video games and room service?
That's not punishment. That's camp.
We never liked camp.
Nice try. You're not leaving my sight.
In fact, you're spending Saturday with me
picking our wardrobe for my act.
You mean, where you try on clothes?
And lots and lots of shoes.
No-o-o! No-o-o!
Hey, guys, what do you think?
The teal or the aqua?
The one you're wearing. The teal.
This is aqua.
This is torture!
This is my favorite punishment ever.
[Both moaning]
I'm tired of setting tables.
Next time we case a place,
I want a better job.
Like what? Well, I always wanted to sing.
I've heard you sing.
You're a better jewel thief.
Did you hear that?
Yeah. The jewel thief wants mom's job.
No. It means we're back in business.
What are you guys doing back here?
See those guys?
What guys?
They're the jewel thieves.
Eddie, check it out.
Ta-da!
Yeah, they look like a couple of real masterminds.
No. We overheard them.
But we weren't eavesdropping.
Enough, you blew it with the diamonds and the rubys.
I'm not listening to your wild stories anymore.
But-- sit. It's shoe time.
Man, I hope I never see another show again in my life.
There are the crooks.
What are we gonna do?
Tell Esteban.
Esteban?
We know who the real thieves are.
Again.
And we're here to clear
your incredibly long name.
I'm sorry, but I can trust you no longer.
I must turn my back on you.
But mostly because I'm going this way.
Why don't grownups ever listen to us?
Because they think we're just kids.
Well, there's only one thing to do.
Prove we're right, clear our name and get Esteban off the hook.
That's 3 things.
And I know how to do them all. Just play along.
Hey, guys.
I seem to have lost my wallet.
Have you seen it anywhere?
Nope.
Darn. Now we have to borrow money
from London tipton,
our good friend who is quite wealthy.
Ah, yes.
The one that lives in suite 2500?
But sadly, she is out of town.
So suite 2500 is empty, you say?
With a bunch of cash and jewels and furs
and other pricey items in a big, empty suite that is empty?
Yep, except for the dog-sitter who is gone every night from 7:00 to 7:30.
Well, thanks for your help.
No, no, no. Thank you.
Yeah, thank you. Ha ha ha!
[Mumbling]
Ahem!
[Shouting and mumbling]
I think we have laid quite a trap.
Will you stop talking like that?
I don't think I can.
You know, pink is your color.
It really highlights your tail.
Ok.
Ooh!
Is this your boyfriend?
You go, girl!
But you know, looks aren't everything.
I went out with this guy once
who was gorgeous.
But he was so stupid,
he should've been walking on all fours.
No offense.
You know,
I really like talking to you.
And clearly I need a life.
[Cell phone rings]
Ivana's line.
It's me. Put her on.
Oh! Ivana, it's mommy!
[Whimpers]
What's going on?
Ivana, get on the phone.
You'll hurt mommy's feelings.
Why won't my baby talk to me?
What have you done to her?
Nothing. She loves me.
I mean, not as much as she loves you.
Isn't that right, ivana?
Rarf rarf rarf rarf arf!
See?
That's not ivana's bark.
Does she have a sore throat?
No! She just misses you
and we're about to miss our movie night. Toodles.
Daddy!
Clearly you're breaking her heart.
But I'm liking you better.
Look, mommy wanted to bring you but couldn't.
So the best revenge is spend her money. Ha ha ha!
I'll get us a cab.
Great idea.
All right. We don't have much time before the crooks arrive.
Do you have the pass key?
No. I'm just gonna say, "open sesame."
Of course, I've got the pass key.
Let's set up the camera.
You set up the camera if you want to.
I'm gonna set up the net to actually catch them.
Like that'll work.
These are crooks, not wild boar.
The idea is to capture them, not make a little movie
CALLED LOOK WHO GOT AWAY.
Ok. I'm putting the fake jewelry right here
in view of the camera.
Yeah, whatever.
What are you doing?!
I'm camouflaging the net with leaves
so the crooks don't see it.
What would leaves be doing in a hotel room?
I'll open the window so it looks like
they blew in from the park across the street.
Like anyone will buy that!
Luckily it won't matter
because we'll catch them on tape.
Now give me the tape.
I can't use this!
This is my first pony ride.
Fine. I'll get the tape of mom potty training us.
Ok. I'm with you on that one.
They're here!
Quick. Put the tape in.
I'm sorry about the movie.
I didn't know it was a cat flick.
Hey, you want to do each other's hair?
What are all these leaves doing here?
Be careful! You're going to step on the trap
I set for the jewel thieves.
Have you two totally lost it?
You're the one talking to a dog.
And she agrees with me. You've lost it.
No. We heard the thieves talking about the jewels.
[Doorknob jiggles]
It's them!
Quick, hide!
[Whistling]
All: STOP! AAH!
Congratulations.
You caught London's laundry.
No, I swear, the jewel thieves are coming.
Oh, no. Not again.
Listen, little blond peoples, I'm in enough troubles.
I don't need anymore of your help.
It's them!
Help!
Oh!
[Humming]
Oh, jewels!
All: NO!
Aah!
Hey, it worked!
Big deal. You caught Muriel.
I could've done that with a slice of pie and whipped cream.
Ooh, sounds great! Could you heat it up?
We'll get you right down.
Hurry up! This thing is giving me a wedgie!
I'll get her down.
Hey, watch it!
I'm not a piata!
[Gasping]
It's got to be them this time.
There's no one else left in the hotel.
But my trap's already been sprung.
What do we do?
Here's an idea. Hide.
Muriel, don't move.
Muriel: OH, YEAH!
I was just on my way to the riviera!
What's with all these leaves?
Must've blown in the window from the park across the street.
Told ya.
Check it out.
Look at all those jewels.
That'll buy us a month in Hawaii.
Or if we budget our money carefully, 4 weeks.
We got it all on tape.
You were right. Sorry.
Oh, a camera.
This'll be great for our trip to Hawaii.
I take my sorry back.
What was that?
Who's behind the sofa?
Maddie: MICE?
Oh, ok.
Come out of there.
Well, you're caught.
Put your hands up!
Step back, little blond peoples.
I'm here to clear the name of
Esteban julio Ricardo Montoya del rosa Ramirez.
Son of Diego Esteban julio Ricardo Montoya del rosa Ramirez.
Muriel: BAD DOG.
No-o-o-o-o!
And his wife Gladys.
Hey, hot shot, when you get out of the slammer,
call me, huh?
All: AA-A-A-A-H!
Esteban, I hope you know I never suspected you.
Thank you, sir.
I never suspected you, either.
And thank you, my little friends.
I never should have doubted you.
It's all right, buddy.
We all make mistakes.
What were you guys thinking,
putting yourselves in danger?
Well, you wouldn't believe us.
You're right.
If you hadn't let your imaginations
run away with you in the first place,
we would've believed you when it really mattered.
It's like the boy who cried wolf.
Who said anything about a wolf?
Aren't you happy we caught them?
Not the point!
You know there's a $10,000 reward.
My boys!
Well, excuse me,
but I'm the one that fell on those dirt bags.
Yeah, but I'm the one that set the trap.
See?
But ivana's the one who cut the rope.
Well, I guess whoever owns this dog
is going to be very, very rich.
Don't be mad, snookums!
Mommy's home!
Life isn't fair.
Aah!
Then again...
So, ivana, tell London how you felt
about being left behind.
That is so hurtful.
I do so love you.
Please.
It's ivana's turn to vent.
I promise I'll never leave you again!
[Grrr]
And?
[Whines]
I'll spend more quality time with you.
[Whimpering]
[Sighs]
My work here is done.
And your time is up.
That'll be $10,000.